The Life I Picked

I lie in bed for hours just thinking of you
Thinking if I could go back there's so many things I would do
All the chances I had to make you mine
I would make you mine every single time
I can't believe I let a girl like you go
And now regret is all my heart's left to know
All that my heart's left to feel
For another opportunity with you I would kill
Would give my life for just one more day
Because there are so many things that I have to say
You are the only girl that I have ever loved
But I knew deep down I would never be enough
So I never even gave us a chance
I would do anything for just one more dance
To hold your hand in mine, to just gaze into your eyes
To take back all of my lies
So many lonely nights, with just me and the thought of you
I had so many opportunities, but each one I blew 
So each night I pray for just one more
As I lie here in bed and watch as the clock strikes four
I don't know how many more nights I can handle
Without your hand there to hold
Without your lips there to kiss
How each and every night I miss
They say live life without any regrets
But this decision is one I will always come to fret
I pinch my arm just hoping this is just a dream
And you will be here again with your smile's beam
And I can look you in the eye
Tell you I am going to be a whole new guy
If you ever need a hand, I'll be there
If you ever need someone to listen, I'll be there
If you ever need a shoulder, I'll be there
If you ever need anything at all, I'll be there
There's nothing else I'd rather do in life
Than be able to call you my wife
I know that I have made some mistakes
And I have been nothing but fake
But these words that I am writing
Are the words that my heart is crying
I am willing to change my whole being
Oh girl, I am begging
But, no matter how much I pinch and pinch and pinch
The life in front of my eyes doesn't even flinch
The clock continues to tick
And I am just left to live the life that I picked